Tory MPs begin search for vaguely competent bastard

A FRIEND has actually written a personal message on the gift bag containing her pal’s.

Belgian monks resurrect brewery after two century break

GRIMBERGEN, Belgium (Reuters) – Belgian monks at the Grimbergen abbey are on the verge of.

Are you sexually promiscuous enough at work?

ARE you worried that you’ve slept with less than half of your office, and it’s.

Eiffel Tower evacuated after climber scales monument

An unidentified man climbs the Eiffel Tower, which had to be evacuated, next to a.

Colleges offer Level 5 NVQ in changing a duvet cover

COLLEGES keen to equip students with key life skills are introducing a National Vocational Qualification.

Women do walk of shame to hen night

A GROUP of women have been spotted doing the 11am walk of shame to their.

Raven chicks in the Tower ward off prophecy of doom for Brexit Britain

Tower of London Ravenmaster Chris Skaife holds a baby raven in London, Britain May 14,.

Five ways to join in the leg-washing ‘debate’ even though it’s idiotic

MANY people have admitted they don’t wash their legs in the shower, sparking a furious.

Take or pay: Belgian ex-king faces paternity fines

Belgian artist Delphine Boel and her lawyers leave a courthouse, after a new hearing in.

How to know when to give the f**k up on something

DO YOU, like Theresa May bringing her Brexit deal back for a fourth time, not.

Professional Northerner oddly reluctant to meet other Northerners

A MAN who never shuts up about being a Northerner avoids meeting anyone else from.

Mum tells kids she wrote ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’

A MOTHER has admitted telling her small children that she wrote the classic Queen song.

Google search confirms man has bubonic plague

A MAN with a slight cough has Googled his symptoms and convinced himself he is.

Middle-class family struggling to outdo themselves

AN extremely middle-class family are struggling to outdo themselves with ostentatious displays of middle-classness.  The.

Will anything happen in tonight’s Game of Thrones?

WITH only two episodes left of Game of Thrones, surely tonight’s won’t be like last.

Which fire pit knobhead are you?

THE new cool place to be at a party is at the fire pit, watching.

Stop bugging him: Philippine leader brushes off finger-sized pest

MANILA (Reuters) – Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte seemed unfazed when a finger-sized cockroach scrambled onto.

Five ways to stop climate change if they weren’t such a pain in the arse

WITH catastrophic climate change on its way, responsible people like you need to act fast..

Australia’s central bank takes ‘responsibilty’ for note typo

SYDNEY (Reuters) – Millions of A$50 ($35) banknotes in Australia have an embarrassing typographical error.

Is Liverpool’s comeback the most irritating of all time? 

LIVERPOOL’S unbelievable comeback to beat Barcelona four-nil yesterday was intensely irritating for most of Britain..

Tanzania plans cable car for Mount Kilimanjaro

DAR ES SALAAM (Reuters) – Tanzania wants to boost tourist numbers by putting a cable.

How to build your baby bullshit bunker

THE Daily Mash presents a step-by-step guide to hiding out until the madness has passed..

What will happen to Britain’s ice-cream vans? A five point guide

THE traditional ice-cream van and the double threat it brings to school gates – diesel.

Nobody trusts couple who do everything together

A COUPLE who spend all their free time together enjoying the same things have ‘something.

‘Thou shall not gossip’, Pope tells hairdressers

FILE PHOTO: Pope Francis presides over the Via Crucis (Way of the Cross) torchlight procession.

Your guide to using the toilets at work like a ninja

DO you mean what you say on Twitter or are you just writing attention-seeking bollocks.

Beast from the east: Indian soldiers reckon they’ve found Yeti footprints

NEW DELHI (Reuters) – Mountaineers from the Indian army on a expedition in Nepal have.

Mumsnet admits it is also the Illuminati

THE parenting website Mumsnet has revealed that it is actually a front for the shadowy.

Romania’s witches harness the powers of the web

MOGOSOAIA, Romania (Reuters) – “Repeat after me! To be together with who I want,” a.

The highlights of the 2019 stag and hen season

THE carnival and revelry of another stag and hen do season is almost upon us,.

Beast from the east – Indian mountaineers reckon they’ve found Yeti footprints

NEW DELHI (Reuters) – Mountaineers from the Indian army on a expedition in Nepal have.

A guide to who the f**k’s who in the latest Avengers thing

THE superhero event movie of the decade is here, but who the fuck are all.