Stowaway falls from plane over London, narrowly missing sunbather

LONDON (Reuters) – The body of a suspected stowaway fell hundreds of metres from a.

Man ‘babysitting’ his children while wife ‘meets friend for coffee’

A COUPLE looking through a book of baby names have complained that it includes unacceptable.

New parents find time for what they love as long as it can be done asleep on toilet

EVERY noise emanating from the kitchen from furiously clinking cutlery to irately closed cupboards is.

Feeling the heat? Estonian takes his sauna on the road, literally

TALLINN (Reuters) – A lot of Europe has felt like a sauna this month, which.

Nostalgic Glastonbury TV viewer wistfully pisses in bottle

A MAN who has become too old to go to Glastonbury is watching the highlights.

Cricket: Busy bees interrupt South Africa and Sri Lanka … again

Cricket – ICC Cricket World Cup – Sri Lanka v South Africa – Emirates Riverside,.

Johnson or Corbyn – who would be the worst company?

DUE to a hospitality mix-up, you’ve invited either prime-minister-in-waiting Boris Johnson or prime-minister-in-exile Jeremy Corbyn.

Are you sh*t at your job or is it all a Remainer plot?

YOUR mistakes have cost your employer thousands, you’re on your final written warning and everyone.

Entire office rendered unable to work by knowledge of cake in kitchen

AN entire floor of staff was unable to work for close to an hour because.

Johnson pledges tax cut for unicorn breeders

BORIS Johnson has vowed to slash taxes for Britain’s hard-pressed unicorn breeders. Source Tweet

‘Close doors’ button on lift does f*ck all, admits engineer

A LIFT engineer has confirmed that the ‘close doors’ button does absolutely f*ck all.  .

Walking in same direction after saying goodbye ‘most stressful thing possible’

WALKING in the same direction as someone after you have already said goodbye is the.

Man who used washing up liquid in dishwasher honestly thinks he can live by himself

A 36 YEAR-old man who used a generous dose of washing up liquid in his.

Old work colleagues meet to trash old work colleagues

A GROUP of ex-colleagues has met up to compare notes about the dire fates they.

Trump’s half-cocked and loaded tweet draws barrage of reaction

A series of tweets written by U.S. President Donald Trump regarding a retaliatory attack on.

Britain wonders if any television will ever be big enough

BRITONS have realised that there is no theoretical limit to the size of the television.

Woman unsure if she’s in hipster café or millennial office

A WOMAN who walked into a building full of young people working on Macbooks on.

Pink balloon threatens human

A HUMAN has been threatened by a small, bright pink balloon. Source Tweet

Anxious nation cheered by Raab’s dismal failure

BRITAIN is to start the weekend early in celebration of Dominic Raab’s pathetic failure. Source.

Rory Stewart is ‘active MI6 agent infiltrating extreme right-wing organisation’

RORY Stewart is an active MI6 agent currently in deep cover in an extreme right-wing.

Cockroaches following Iran story with growing interest

THE realm of Hades itself has finally been brought to our earthly plane at this.

The six looks from Killing Eve you absolutely cannot carry off

THE release of 2019-20’s Premier League fixtures means a Manchester United supporter can diarise when.

Fowl ref! Scotland bring out the rubber chickens at World Cup

FILE PHOTO: Soccer Football – Women’s World Cup – Group D – England v Scotland.

Premier League fixtures let fan plan exactly when to be angry

THE release of 2019-20’s Premier League fixtures means a Manchester United supporter can diarise when.

Bar scales back ‘free shot per goal’ promotion after U.S. 13-0 win

Soccer Football – Women’s World Cup – Group F – United States v Thailand –.

The parent’s guide to sh*t teenage bands

TEENAGERS will always be in bands, no matter how overwhelming the evidence that they are.

Unlucky 13 for Miami bar that offered free shots for U.S. goals

Soccer Football – Women’s World Cup – Group F – United States v Thailand –.

Man off sick considering a w*nk

A MAN who is ill in bed and feeling miserable is wondering whether a w*nk.

Six ways to patronise people giving up smoking

ARE you an interfering sod who’s never seriously smoked who nonetheless offers advice to anyone.

Tax cuts but – get this – for the rich, says Boris

BORIS Johnson has blindsided rivals for the Tory leadership by proposing tax cuts but –.

Man expert in women’s football after four days’ dedicated study

A MALE football fan has read four day’s worth of coverage of the FIFA Women’s.

Man urgently needs to buy himself something

Yesterday, I handed in my notice as Conservative leader. Some of you have wondered what.