The New York Times‘ election needle failure may be the healthiest possible outcome for our collective mental health.
The infamous needle sparked deep-seated anxiety and ignited endless rage during the 2016 presidential election, when it perilously oscillated before settling on Trump’s victory. Ahead of the midterm elections this year, people were outspoken about how much that damn needle stressed them out.
“When the Needle whirs to life like the smoke monster in Lost, chances are you’ve already cast your vote, you’ve worked the rest of your day in the office, stress-eating whatever baked goods come your way.” The latest from @oureric: https://t.co/xCzrlApIad
— ELLE Magazine (US) (@ELLEmagazine) November 6, 2018
But maybe for the good of our heart rates, the New York Times‘ cursed needle appears to have broken.
Times elections correspondent Nate Cohn explained that the dreaded needle was experiencing “issues.”
“Don’t know when we’ll have something,” he tweeted.
Well. We have issues over here. Don’t know when we’ll have something.
— Nate Cohn (@Nate_Cohn) November 7, 2018
Did the needle, fueled by the anxiety of Americans nationwide, become self-aware? Has it taken pity on us mere mortals, doomed to rely on a centuries-old system to determine our leaders? Did the needle simply, like many of us, give up?
Other Twitter users thoroughly roasted the needle in Cohn’s mentions
Bruh… delete that fucking needle forever.
— NoWayGirlTV (@nowaygirltv) November 7, 2018
Have you tried turning it off and back on again?
— TheSafariMan (@thesafariman) November 7, 2018
Some turned to the only solace of our turbulent political climate: Memes.
Most people waited in anticipation.
Prepare the blood sacrifice
Oh NYT Needle, we summon you!
— Comfortably Smug (@ComfortablySmug) November 6, 2018
Why haven’t the cowards at the NYT turned on their election needle yet?
— Ben Dreyfuss (@bendreyfuss) November 7, 2018
FiveThirtyEight’s competing election predictions also appear to be experiencing issues.
I think 538 was jealous of the way the needle gave so many Democrats a heart attack in 2018.
— Josh Barro (@jbarro) November 7, 2018
At the time of writing, the New York Times election needle is still out of order. The site put up this statement:
“We do not yet feel confident enough in our estimates to publish a live forecast. If and when we do, we will publish it here.”
We’ll keep you updated on this meltdown.
UPDATE: Nov. 6, 2018, 6:48 p.m. PST We regret to inform you that the needle is back. Feel free to resume wallowing in overwhelming existential dread.
WATCH: The Suicide Squad on Their "Scrappy" Crew at CinemaCon