45-year-old man has been going through midlife crisis for 20 years

A 45-YEAR-OLD has confirmed that he has been going through his midlife crisis since around 1999. 

Tom Booker of Swindon began to worry about his advancing age, lack of achievement compared to his peers, and inevitable mortality aged 25 and has not stopped since.

He said: “I mean what’s it all for? What have I really done with my life? Is this it? Those are the thoughts I’ve been having since approximately the time The Matrix came out.

“I always think of midlife crisis as a blokes buying sports cars and leaving their wives for their secretaries, but I can’t drive and haven’t got a secretary, which only makes my crisis worse.

“Apparently this crisis can last until I’m in my mid-60s. Surely a crisis is something that demands immediate action, rather than dragging on for your entire life.”

Booker added: “But I also support West Ham, and they’ve been in crisis for at least as long as I have. So yeah, I guess this is it.”

Source

more recommended stories

  • Are you sexually promiscuous enough at work?

    ARE you worried that you’ve slept.

  • Eiffel Tower evacuated after climber scales monument

    An unidentified man climbs the Eiffel.

  • Colleges offer Level 5 NVQ in changing a duvet cover

    COLLEGES keen to equip students with.

  • Women do walk of shame to hen night

    A GROUP of women have been.

  • Raven chicks in the Tower ward off prophecy of doom for Brexit Britain

    Tower of London Ravenmaster Chris Skaife.

  • Five ways to join in the leg-washing ‘debate’ even though it’s idiotic

    MANY people have admitted they don’t.

  • Take or pay: Belgian ex-king faces paternity fines

    Belgian artist Delphine Boel and her.

  • How to know when to give the f**k up on something

    DO YOU, like Theresa May bringing.

  • Professional Northerner oddly reluctant to meet other Northerners

    A MAN who never shuts up.

  • Mum tells kids she wrote ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’

    A MOTHER has admitted telling her.

  • Google search confirms man has bubonic plague

    A MAN with a slight cough.

  • Middle-class family struggling to outdo themselves

    AN extremely middle-class family are struggling.

  • Will anything happen in tonight’s Game of Thrones?

    WITH only two episodes left of.

  • Which fire pit knobhead are you?

    THE new cool place to be.

  • Stop bugging him: Philippine leader brushes off finger-sized pest

    MANILA (Reuters) – Philippine President Rodrigo.

  • Five ways to stop climate change if they weren’t such a pain in the arse

    WITH catastrophic climate change on its.

  • Australia’s central bank takes ‘responsibilty’ for note typo

    SYDNEY (Reuters) – Millions of A$50.

  • Is Liverpool’s comeback the most irritating of all time? 

    LIVERPOOL’S unbelievable comeback to beat Barcelona.

  • Tanzania plans cable car for Mount Kilimanjaro

    DAR ES SALAAM (Reuters) – Tanzania.

  • How to build your baby bullshit bunker

    THE Daily Mash presents a step-by-step.

  • What will happen to Britain’s ice-cream vans? A five point guide

    THE traditional ice-cream van and the.

  • Nobody trusts couple who do everything together

    A COUPLE who spend all their.

  • ‘Thou shall not gossip’, Pope tells hairdressers

    FILE PHOTO: Pope Francis presides over.

  • Your guide to using the toilets at work like a ninja

    DO you mean what you say.

  • Beast from the east: Indian soldiers reckon they’ve found Yeti footprints

    NEW DELHI (Reuters) – Mountaineers from.

  • Mumsnet admits it is also the Illuminati

    THE parenting website Mumsnet has revealed.

  • Romania’s witches harness the powers of the web

    MOGOSOAIA, Romania (Reuters) – “Repeat after.

  • The highlights of the 2019 stag and hen season

    THE carnival and revelry of another.

  • Beast from the east – Indian mountaineers reckon they’ve found Yeti footprints

    NEW DELHI (Reuters) – Mountaineers from.

  • A guide to who the f**k’s who in the latest Avengers thing

    THE superhero event movie of the.

  • Girlfriend putting copper jelly moulds on kitchen wall like a f**king looney

    RESEARCH recommending limiting childrens’ screen time.

  • Stairs still nation’s favourite place to put things

    A NATIONWIDE survey has found that.