ARE you at a date’s home and trying to work out if they’re completely mental? A quick look at the contents of their fridge will give you the definitive answer.
A week’s worth of prepared meals
Preparing all your meals in advance could mean someone bored and lonely, or could mean someone weirdly controlling and tediously organised? Neither bodes well for a fun relationship.
Anyone finding this in someone’s fridge will be rightly freaked out because it looks like a jar of pickled aliens. When you find out it’s actually fermented mushroom tea then still be freaked out because you’re on a date with a tiresome health nut.
Nothing but condiments
A fridge full of condiments, whether a selection of mustards, a half-empty bottle of ketchup or a massive jar of mayonnaise means their owner is incapable of looking after themselves and wants you to become a weird chef-parent hybrid prepared to shag them occasionally.
Can be explained away by the fridge-owner being into fishing. Which while a better explanation than being a filthy bastard, still leaves the troubling discovery that they’re into fishing.
A still-living human brain
Even if you’re desperate for a relationship, this is quite a red flag. But if you’re over 40 and have baggage you might have to settle.