‘Predator’ to win all film awards for 30th consecutive year

PREDATOR is set to continue its unbroken run of winning every film prize since 1988.

John McTiernan’s masterpiece tells the story of Major ‘Alan’ Dutch Schaefer as he leads a dwindling group of commandos against an otherworldly enemy with glowing green blood.

Since its release over two decades ago, Predator has been adapted into numerous stage plays, an opera and an acclaimed conceptual art installation at Tate Britain. The Collector’s Edition DVD of the film is required viewing on school syllabuses in 64 countries.

Cinema critic Roy Hobbs said: “On the form of previous unbroken success, and also because there is clearly no superior film, my prediction is for Predator to yet again sweep the board at the Oscars, including Best Foreign Language film.

“Which, by the way, is legitimate because during the film we hear Predator speak in Predator language.”

However, experts admitted that by the early 90s the masterwork made all subsequent attempts at film making irrelevant.

Film historian Nikki Hollis said: “Let us consider the scene where Dutch skewers a guerilla to a post with a throwing knife then quips, ‘stick around’.

“Or the relationship between Dutch and his old comrade Dillon, which overcomes Dillon’s initial suspicions about his friend’s newly-acquired smart clothes and ‘fucking tie business’, only to end tragically when Dillon’s arm is severed. Can this be equalled? It cannot.”

Since his 18th consecutive best actor Oscar in 2005, Arnold Schwarzenegger has been donating the annual prize to one of the distant runners-up.

Favourites this year include Denzel Washington for Predator 14: The Ballad of Billy Sole and Joaquin Phoenix for Predator v Abba.

Source

more recommended stories

  • Are you sexually promiscuous enough at work?

    ARE you worried that you’ve slept.

  • Eiffel Tower evacuated after climber scales monument

    An unidentified man climbs the Eiffel.

  • Colleges offer Level 5 NVQ in changing a duvet cover

    COLLEGES keen to equip students with.

  • Women do walk of shame to hen night

    A GROUP of women have been.

  • Raven chicks in the Tower ward off prophecy of doom for Brexit Britain

    Tower of London Ravenmaster Chris Skaife.

  • Five ways to join in the leg-washing ‘debate’ even though it’s idiotic

    MANY people have admitted they don’t.

  • Take or pay: Belgian ex-king faces paternity fines

    Belgian artist Delphine Boel and her.

  • How to know when to give the f**k up on something

    DO YOU, like Theresa May bringing.

  • Professional Northerner oddly reluctant to meet other Northerners

    A MAN who never shuts up.

  • Mum tells kids she wrote ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’

    A MOTHER has admitted telling her.

  • Google search confirms man has bubonic plague

    A MAN with a slight cough.

  • Middle-class family struggling to outdo themselves

    AN extremely middle-class family are struggling.

  • Will anything happen in tonight’s Game of Thrones?

    WITH only two episodes left of.

  • Which fire pit knobhead are you?

    THE new cool place to be.

  • Stop bugging him: Philippine leader brushes off finger-sized pest

    MANILA (Reuters) – Philippine President Rodrigo.

  • Five ways to stop climate change if they weren’t such a pain in the arse

    WITH catastrophic climate change on its.

  • Australia’s central bank takes ‘responsibilty’ for note typo

    SYDNEY (Reuters) – Millions of A$50.

  • Is Liverpool’s comeback the most irritating of all time? 

    LIVERPOOL’S unbelievable comeback to beat Barcelona.

  • Tanzania plans cable car for Mount Kilimanjaro

    DAR ES SALAAM (Reuters) – Tanzania.

  • How to build your baby bullshit bunker

    THE Daily Mash presents a step-by-step.

  • What will happen to Britain’s ice-cream vans? A five point guide

    THE traditional ice-cream van and the.

  • Nobody trusts couple who do everything together

    A COUPLE who spend all their.

  • ‘Thou shall not gossip’, Pope tells hairdressers

    FILE PHOTO: Pope Francis presides over.

  • Your guide to using the toilets at work like a ninja

    DO you mean what you say.

  • Beast from the east: Indian soldiers reckon they’ve found Yeti footprints

    NEW DELHI (Reuters) – Mountaineers from.

  • Mumsnet admits it is also the Illuminati

    THE parenting website Mumsnet has revealed.

  • Romania’s witches harness the powers of the web

    MOGOSOAIA, Romania (Reuters) – “Repeat after.

  • The highlights of the 2019 stag and hen season

    THE carnival and revelry of another.

  • Beast from the east – Indian mountaineers reckon they’ve found Yeti footprints

    NEW DELHI (Reuters) – Mountaineers from.

  • A guide to who the f**k’s who in the latest Avengers thing

    THE superhero event movie of the.

  • Girlfriend putting copper jelly moulds on kitchen wall like a f**king looney

    RESEARCH recommending limiting childrens’ screen time.

  • Stairs still nation’s favourite place to put things

    A NATIONWIDE survey has found that.